Drunken Confessions Will Be the Death of Me
by lawlietfan347
Summary: After a confession with a heavily intoxicated L, Light begins to realize his feelings for the detective, and L begins to realize his feelings for Light.  But is L's love really worth the death of Kira? UPDATE 2-16-2012 HIATUS FOR NOW!
1. Our Drunk Love

**Drunken Confessions Will Be the Death of Me  
**

Summary: After a confession with a heavily intoxicated L, Light begins to realize his feelings for the panda faced detective, and L begins to realize his feelings for Light. But is L's love worth the death of Kira? And what will happen when someone from L's past comes into the mix, threatening Light's very life? The results could be devastating and may mark the end of Light and L forever.

(Whoa I sound like one of those movie announcer people :P) That was a pretty sucky summary but I don't wanna give away too many surprises! :DD

**Hi everyone! It's me again with another fanfiction (yay!) and this one is mainly the result of a very bored me in my algebra II w/ trig class. Needless to say, sitting in the back of the room has its advantages. This is going to be the first chapter **_**I think,**_ **I'm not exactly sure what else I'm gonna do with this, but it's rated M for the lemon that I *hope* to write later. Maybe. Possibly. We'll see. But first, I want to see what you guys think of this first chapter! If you hate it's that's ok, just don't throw stuff at me. -cowers in corner- in all honesty, I just wanted an excuse to write L as totally OOC and for him to be completely wasted. I thought it would be funny lol. For the record, a lot of this for L and Light is OOC. Just a heads up. I realize that in the middle it just kinda snowballs out of control and goes pretty fast but this thing is like 11 fucking pages and it's 2:37am and I'm exhausted but I'm in that mood where I'm like I'm-not-gonna-sleep-till-I-finish-this-damn-fanfiction so yeah, but I'm about to crash now so enjoy it! **

***Side note = The phrase 'go bald Ryuzaki' is going to come up a few times, just to let you know it means Light is cursing L (in his head) for being so damn cute, it'll explain why in the story. It has to do with baby hedgehogs. ^_^ And there's quite a bit of mental ranting and mental talking, especially on Light's part where his OCD kind of takes over lol. And this: *(whatever words I decide to put in here)* means that I am jumping in to explain something. Other than that there shouldn't be any annoying disturbances and I'll keep those to a minimum. **

"Light-kun, would you like to go on a date with me?" The question popped out and hit Light like a slap in the face. He choked on the current gulp of coffee, sputtering it distastefully back into the cup. _Where the hell did that come from? Did L just ask me on a date? Is he gay? Is this some strange concocted round-about test to determine if I was Kira? What the hell? _He looked at the detective for a moment, a stunned expression splashed across his face. He set his mug, which now had liquid running down the sides, on the long desk in front of him, wiping his hands on his pant legs.

"W-why would you ask me that, Ryuzaki?" he said slowly. The detective shrugged nonchalantly, turning back to his laptop.

"That is what you ask people you like right? When you want to go out and do something…fun with someone you're close to or wanting to be closer to? That's customary is it not?" his speaking was tentative and awkward.

_Ask someone you like? … Oh. _Light chuckled inwardly. L wanted to go out and do something with him, to hangout. Poor naïve, socially inept Ryuzaki.

"Uh, Ryuzaki, I think you're mistaken. You mean you want to go somewhere, as in to see a movie for example, as friends, to do an activity together? Just enjoy each other's company?" It kind of felt like he was explaining how a toaster works to a 4-year old, he couldn't help the grin that sneaked its way to his lips. What shocked Light was the fact that the man shook his head.

"I could enjoy your company any time, Light-kun. I want to go on a date with you because I like you. As more than a friend." He said in a '_duh_' voice. Light's face flushed, his mind carefully processing each word, especially that last sentence. Or sentence fragment to be more exact. There was no mistake in L's words, no room for question, and no room for Light to talk his way out.

_What should I do? Say yes? No? I'm not gay! '_LIAR.' A voice in his head commented snidely. Light scowled inwardly. _Ok, not gay for L. Definitely not. Well, now that I look at him, Ryuzaki really is… cute. His ebony hair that sticks out in spiky tendrils in every direction matched with those huge panda-like eyes give him the look of a baby hedgehog. And hedgehogs were adorable. So using the transitive property, that would make L adorable. Not that'd ever say that out loud…_

"Light-kun!" L yelled, flailing his arms wildly in front of the teen's face, causing him to roll his chair back abruptly in alarm.

"What's wrong with you Ryuzaki?" he glared at the man.

"You've been staring at me for the last few minutes and you never gave me an answer to my question." Damn. Of course he wouldn't forget. Damn L.

_Maybe I should go. It could be interesting; I've never seen L outside of this building— WAIT! What am I thinking? I am Kira. __**Kira. **__There's no way I could go on a __**date**__ with my arch nemesis… or could I? This could actually be a good thing. It might allow me to get close enough to L to where he'd reveal his real name to me. Not immediately, but eventually. This might just work…_

"Light-kun!" The detective yelled again, breaking into Light's thoughts. "You're staring again, and I require an answer right now. Will you go on a date with me?" Light grinned flashing L his famous thousand watt smile (which was guilty of causing the fainting of countless girls, not to toot his own horn).

"Sure, Ryuzaki, I'd love to." He replied a bit too eagerly. The detective nodded, turning back to his computer.

"Alright then." He said, his voice monotone as always. Most people wouldn't have picked up on it, but Light could tell L was excited. His lips were almost imperceptibly curved upward in the barest hint of a smile, and his slate gray eyes held a lively glint usually reserved for when he saw cake. Or any sweet really. Genuinely curious, Light asked

"So, where are we gonna go?" L's lips twitched, continuing to type on whatever it was he happened to be doing.

"Where would you like to go, Light-kun?" he countered, asking his own question. Light leaned back in his chair, pondering this for a moment. _We could go to the movies, simple enough, maybe dinner, then perhaps we'd go for ice cream afterwards? L would probably like that—_ Light's mind came to a screeching halt. _Am I really planning this? _Light couldn't help it. His OCD-ness wouldn't allow him to not have his ducks lined in a row so to speak. _Maybe I could make a chart! Charts make everything better._

Light hated Ryuzaki- no, _**Kira **_hated him- but he couldn't help but want L to have good time. Mostly because it would probably be one of the only times the 25 year old would get out into the world without being forcefully dragged out of his room. The image of L being towed, kicking and screaming made Light chuckle. _Damn him for being so adorable! Especially that hair. Yes, I swear that hair will be the death of me someday. Maybe if he went bald it would be easier to concentrate on ruling the world _(whoa, god complex much?). _Go bald Ryuzaki._

"What was that about me being bald Light-kun?" L asked, glancing at him skeptically from the corner of his eye. _Shit, did I say that out loud?_

"Nothing." He lied smoothly. "I was thinking that maybe we could go see a movie, then go out to get something to eat afterwards." Ryuzaki mused over this for a moment before nodding.

"Alright, sounds good." He murmured decisively. The detective proceeded to shut down his computer (for the first time. Ever.) and hopped out of his desk chair. "Ok, let's go." Light blinked.

"What do you mean 'let's go'? Don't you want to change first or something?" Translation: Before you take me out _anywhere _you need to look better than that. Go change. Now.

Light raked his eyes down the older man, examining his attire. Wrinkled white long-sleeved shirt, littered with cake crumbs, a 3 day old chocolate pudding stain smudged dead center on his chest. Along with the same denim jeans he had been wearing for weeks on end? No. Hell no. L shrugged his shoulders.

"This is what I normally wear, but if you insist..." he added a dramatic sigh for affect. Light smirked.

"Yes, I do insist. I'm going to change and freshen up as well, meet me down here in 20 minutes." he said, leaving no room for arguing. Ryuzaki had no choice but to comply, tramping up the stairs behind Light, silently pouting. Light didn't need to turn around to know how cute the detective looked. _Go bald Ryuzaki!_

Upon entering their shared room, Light immediately began his search for something presentable to wear. _Suit? No way, too formal…Pink polo? No, screams 'flaming homo'. Abercrombie? Yes. _AfterLight finished his clothing dissection, he turned his attention to L. He had just been standing awkwardlyoff to the side, absentmindedly chewing on his thumbnail. The detective seemed to me in his own world (so what else was new) and Light lugged a bundled up pair of socks at him, dead aim right in the face. It wasn't a particularly hard throw, he'd hoped. L flinched, blinking at the socks that were now at his feet.

"Right, changing." He mumbled, unlocking the chains on his wrist. He let his own cuff fall the floor with a soft thud to start rummaging through his own closet. Despite his messy nature, he had made a point to keep his closet as spotless as possible. He even took the time to vacuum it from time to time. So it wasn't a surprise that he was easily able to locate the unopened box he was looking for.

_Hey L! Happy birthday!_

_You know how Matt and I were screwing around with our fashion sense a few months ago? Yes, I'm talking about the time where I wanted to start wearing leather (I'm still considering that, by the way) and Matt wanted a pair of those goggles. Anyways, it occurred to me that your look is so mysterious, so I took it upon myself to buy you something nice. I hope I got the right size!_

_Sincerely, Mello _

L hesitantly opened the lid of the box. He knew there were clothes in there; he just hoped it looked a bit normal.

"Light-kun, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He said, not taking his eyes off the outfit presented in the box. Light quirked one perfectly arched eyebrow, his picked out clothes slung neatly over his arm.

"Why? We've changed in front of each other before. And I have to be handcuffed to you remember?" The detective shook his head.

"No I think you should be okay on your own for a few minutes. Plus I have cameras all over this building so it won't be a problem." Light tilted his head.

"…Are you sure?" he asked cautiously.

"Positive, Light-kun, now leave please. Now. I'd like to get dressed by myself." The teen shrugged, turning to leave, dragging the 4 foot chain behind him. There were other bathrooms in the building so it wasn't exactly a hindrance. L heard Light mumble something about him being a 'diva' and the detective chuckled softly.

Once alone, he took a shower, actually taking time to wash the rat's nest he called hair. He hopped out of the bathroom after a quick towel dry, giddy for some reason. _Why did I ask Light out anyway? Considering that I have never gone on a date before or anything even related to a date in my life. I guess it just slipped out. Well. Can't go back now._

L picked back up the box that he was rested on his bed, fully lifting off the lid.

He slid the outfit on.

_It's...fairly tight_

He walked stiffly over to the full length mirror mounted on the back of his bathroom door. He gave himself a once over, sighing, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

_Why, Mello, why? _He thought, exasperated.

L sighed again. At least he can breathe. Still, he was considering changing back into his normal, more comfortable clothes.

_No, I haven't washed those in weeks. It would not be appropriate._

Deciding there was nothing else he could do, he proceeded to make his way back down the stairs. Light had spent twice as much time in front of the mirror than he usually did, trying to beat his hair into submission. Combing it one way, flipping it the other way to get that messy-yet-tidy look, deciding that it looked ridiculous than combing it the other way and repeating the process.

_Why must I be such a perfectionist? Oh right, because I'm Light Yagami. And Light Yagami is always perfect. Always. Even when he's not, he's perfect. Because he's always perfect. Almost so perfect that it was a flaw. But it wasn't a flaw because he's always perfect. Perfect, wonderful, faultless…_

Light had been talking about…well, himself for the past 10 minutes, trying to take his mind off of the fact that he was going on a _**date**_ with L…Damnit! So close. He had taken a nice relaxing shower, shaved the little bit of stubble off his face, slipped into his clothes and was now working on his face and hair region. That Light Yagami perfection? Yeah it doesn't just happen; it takes a surprising amount of work. Washing his face with the special face wash he ordered from Switzerland, used to keep his skin smooth and utterly blemish free. If he missed a day, his face would begin to break out. Needless to say, it took a while for his face to fully recover when he had been stuck in that prison cell for almost two months. Did you want to see a zit-faced Light? Really? No you did not. He had to fight the genes, his dad's face was terrible when he was a teen, it was like one giant pimple. No way Light was going down that path.

He brushed his teeth at least twice, namely his tongue just in case L wanted to… _WHOA. Ok wow_; _rein that imagination back in Light. Keep it together. _

After about half an hour in front of the mirror, Light deemed himself presentable. With one last wink to himself, he strolled out of the bathroom, feeling rejuvenated. He padded out to the main lobby of the taskforce building, taking a seat in his desk chair to wait for L.

Ryuzaki peeked over the main stairwell to gaze down into the main lobby where he expected Light to be waiting. As anticipated, he spotted the teen in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, hand resting on his closed fist. He looked stunning, as always, sporting a dark navy long sleeved shirt with the words 'Abercrombie & Fitch' embroidered in ivory letters on his chest. Along with that he was wearing a pair of formfitting yet slightly baggy khaki pants and finished off with the pair of sperry's. L looked down at his own outfit.

_Well. Now at least we won't match. In fact, we're completely opposite from each other. _He took a deep breath and continued his descent down the stairs.

Light heard a sound at the stairs and glanced up to see Ryuzaki walking down to meet him. It took every ounce of self control not to start gaping like a retarded fish. Ryuzaki looked…hot. Never before had he seen L standing in perfect posture. His hair was still in its usual messy fashion, but made his look edgier. Ripped, black denim skinny jeans clung to his legs exposing patches of his pale skin. A gray v-neck shirt was shown under an unzipped black hoodie and he had a pair of brand new black and white chuck taylors on his feet. L's sleeves were pushed up and his hands were resting in his pockets.

"Uh, R-ryuzaki?" Light stuttered. His eyes roamed over L. He gulped. Those jeans did look a little tight. Were his legs always that shapely? And that v-neck. Oh god, just seeing that spot of bare skin was making him hot. His dark outfit contrasting with his alabaster skin made L seem almost luminous. Ryuzaki looked at Light questionably.

"What, is it that bad? I can go change if you want—"

"No!" Light cut him off. "No, it's fine. You look fine, really good actually. It's just interesting to see you…in normal clothes. I never thought of that being your style but it suits you really well."_ Wow suave as hell Light._

"Thank you, Light-kun. Shall we go?" L asked.

"Yeah," Light stood up, looking at his watch. 6:00pm. "Let's go, before the train station gets too crowded. L nodded, not mentioning the fact that he could have gotten them a car. He always thought public transit was kind of…icky. Yes with the years of language he had acquired, icky was the only adjective he could think of to describe it. The fact that dozens of people had sit and touched the same surfaces that same day and most likely didn't sterilize their hands before doing so made L want to dry heave. Despite the fact that he was a slob, Ryuzaki was a bit of a germaphobe. Even so, he willingly followed Light out of the building.

Half an hour and a bottle of germ-x later, they arrived in the busy Shinjuku area. It was bustling this time of night, especially since it was a Friday. Bright incandescent signs flashed over head, and taxi horns blared every once in a while as L and Light made their way down the busy streets. For a while people pushed around them on all sides, and at one point Ryuzaki had to clutch onto Light's arm to make sure he didn't get sucked into the mass of people walking by. Needless to say, they were both red for a good 2 minutes. After a short amount of time, they had reached a point where they could both walk calmly side by side. L, not being one for small talk, was silent, wide eyed like a little child as he took in all the sights and sounds of the city. Light of course noticed this.

_This must be Ryuzaki's first time out here in months. It seems like he's forgotten what Shinjuku looks like. He looks like a kid when they learn how to use the toilet for the first time. Ok. Bad analogy. But he's still adorable. Dammit go bald Ryuzaki! How the hell did I end up on a date in the first place? I wonder what led him to ask me out. More importantly why did I say yes? Oh right. To get more information out of him. Well, I have all night to do that, might as well have some fun. I didn't even have enough time to make a list of possible activities we could do (or a chart…)._

He felt a light *(as in not heavy)* tug on his sleeve. He had been stuck in his thoughts thathe didn't realize that L had stopped walking a few feet behind him. He was pointing at a neon sign across the street from us.

"Light-kun, what is 'Karaoke Dokie'?" Light turned to glance at the sign. The name was bedecked with multicolored lights, making it one of the most colorful signs on the block.

"Well probably exactly what the title says. A karaoke bar We should probably keep walking.." His words were wasted as the detective began to walk towards the entrance across the street. Light actually made sure to look both ways before quickly catching up to L, latching onto his hand. They were both standing blatantly in the middle of the street, but luckily they were in a quieter part of town so there weren't many cars going by.

"What the hell are you doing? You're j-walking! You realize that's illegal right? I would think that of all people you would try to be a law-abiding citizen. Besides, we don't know anything about this place!" He said hastily, trying to reason with Ryuzaki.

"But Light-kun, it's so pretty…" he said, his eyes wide as he lurched forward towards the building, like a moth to a flame. Light huffed, releasing L's hand and following him to the bar. Upon approaching, Light could literally feel the music. It pulsated out the door, pounding his chest. It was some sort of foreign techno beat, most likely to fill the time before someone else sang. L turned to Light, beaming.

"Can we go inside, please Light-kun?" he asked, his eyes wide and twinkling with a child-like excitement. He looked like a kid on Christmas Eve when his parents said they were going to Disneyland. With that adorable face, Light couldn't say no. Light bit his lip, looking at the entrance.

"Yeah, sure I guess. 2 minutes then we leave." He mumbled, not looking the detective in the eye. L grinned, slipping into the karaoke bar, Light following suit. Once in, Light froze in his tracks. People, namely men, were walking around, dancing alarmingly close to each other, drinking, some were dressed in drag. Many were wearing bright neon clothing, which seemed to glow in the dark club. Inside, a bevy of disco balls reflected Christmas lights adorning the walls. Light's face went crimson as a transvestite wearing something that resembled a peacock, complete with a huge fan of sequined feathers walked by smiling and dragging a finger across L's cheek. Ryuzaki seemed somewhat awestruck, unsure of how to react or what to think. Light was both amazed and horrified. He'd never seen L, who is usually completely composed make such a shocked face before. Light's eyes went wide, stumbling backwards.

This was a gay bar? Out of all the bars in Shinjuku, this had to be a _**gay bar**_! Light did a mental facepalm, no, more like a facefist. He was about to drag L out of this place, but when he turned to do it, he found the detective was no where to be found.

_What the hell, where did he go! He may be a genius but he's so naïve and vulnerable, any one of these freaks could take advantage of him! _Light was freaking out, frantically searching for the detective. He checked the bar first. The bartender was stocky and well-built, a striped bandana wrapped around his bald head, and he was wearing a sleeveless vest that barely covered his very hairy chest. It made Light want to vomit.

"Hey, pretty boy, what can I get for you?" the bartender grinned crookedly, leaning closer to the teen over the table. Light ignored that 'pretty boy' comment, shaking his head and letting out a frustrated breath.

"Nothing. Have you seen a man, about my height, pale skin, black hair with bangs over his eyes, wearing a dark hoodie?" He used his hands to gesture each description.

"Was he your date or something?" The man asked. Light nodded grudgingly. The bartender chuckled and pointed across the crowded club, over the sea of gyrating dancers.

"That boy is one stiff drinker; he ordered a Long Island iced tea, or what I like to call a 'roofie-colada'.I was surprised because the kid said he had never drank before." Light smacked his own face with his hand, running it through his hair aggravated. The man spoke again. "You look like you could use a drink, why don't you loosen up a little?" He smiled suggestively. Light grimaced, trying to keep the bile down that rose in his throat. He turned to stand on his tiptoes, cupping his hands over his eyes even though it wouldn't help him see any better.

_Where the hell is he? If he's not already dead, I'm going to kill him….AH! _Light just barely spotted the detective's mass of hedgehog hair above the crowd of people. From what Light could see, he was relatively unharmed, but…SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF GUYS? Light was seething, hurriedly pushing his way through the ocean of men, trying to overlook the guys that were dry humping his leg as he made his way over to the detective. He was blinded by the jealousy that spiked up in his chest. Light marched right over to L, thrusting his way into the circle of slightly older and definitely more experienced men surrounding him. What Light saw absolutely mortified him.

Ryuzaki was utterly out of his mind drunk.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy Liiiiight, how's my big bad sexy Light Yagami?" L slurred, lurching out of his seat in the round booth he was in, staring upwards at Light struggling to focus on the teen's features through the artificial fog, flashing lights and a drunken stupor. Light's eyes went wide as saucers, and a dark red blush rose on his cheeks. He reached down to clutch L's hand.

"We need to leave now. Come on Ryuzaki, let's go home." Light said, as if talking to a child. L stood up, stumbling into Light, leaning on him and collapsing into a fit of giggles. It was so out of character that it scared Light.

"But Liiiiight, I wanna danccceeee with you!" The elder man grinned, yanking Light's sleeve towards the dance floor. Light stood his ground, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No. We're leaving. Now." He said firmly. Ryuzaki stuck his bottom lip out in an adorable pout.

"B-but Liiight…" He just looked so cute, Light almost thought that one dance couldn't hurt._ Ugh go bald Ryuzaki; this is not the time to be negotiating! _

"No, come on, please..." Light said, almost pleading now. They were starting to get uncomfortable stares from the men who were around them. He slipped his arm around L's waist as he started to fall back into the booth he had been sitting in and began to drag him out of the club. Ryuzaki turned back to the men, waving like the intoxicated idiot he was.

"Byyyyeeeeee guyssss, thanks for letting me hang with you!" he yelled, beaming. They all called out bye in unison, waving back and hooting. Light hauled the detective out into the crisp night air, hoping it would help in clearing his head.

_Well so much for dinner…_

L giggled, gripping onto the teen's shirt.

"Well, that was funnn, eh Light-kun? I had an awesommeee time, aren't you glad we went? I am! Did you see allll the new friends I made? You know I reallllly need to tell Watari how to make a Long Island iced tea, I bet one of the guys with the green mohawk t-that I could drink more of them than he could, AND I WAS RIGHT! I drank like 3 of them, and they were totalllly yummy!" All of this and more poured out of the detective's mouth so fast and incoherently that Light could only nod and murmur 'yes, yes I know, I know' in the right places as they stumbled around the streets of Shinjuku. He'd had to deal with many girls that had gotten drunk so he knew how to deal with them. Just agree with everything they said no matter what.

After a while, L had begun to fall quiet, hiccupping every now and again. This was the stage where most girls would start to mellow out and either pass out or puke. The man started to walk a bit easier (a bit but not by much) and not placing all his weight on Light which he was grateful for.

"Heeey, Light-kun?" L asked, slightly more consistent that before. "Am I wasteeed?" Light chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, you are hopelessly inebriated. This is why I am taking you back to headquarters so you can sleep this off. Or something." The detective smirked, turning towards Light.

"A lot of the guys back in that b-bar were saying that I was sexy." He murmured, stepping in front of the teen so that they were inches away from one another. "So the question is, Light-kun, do you think I'm sexy?" The question was influenced by the drunken haze he was in, but Light couldn't help but be stunned. He didn't exactly know what to say, the right answer? Or the 'Light' answer? The right answer in this situation would be to say 'Sure, whatever you say Ryuzaki.' But the 'Light' answer would be 'YES, HELL FUCKING YES YOU ARE!' Or something along those lines.

"You're going to make someone very happy one day. Yes you're very attractive." Light stated plainly wishing he'd gone with the more extreme choice because hell, L deserved it and was probably looking for a self confidence boost. "You're beautiful in fact. I've always thought you were extraordinary, Ryuzaki." He paused. L was most likely not going to remember this night or anything that took place, so Light decided just to get everything off his chest because figured this moment would never come again. He would probably never get another chance to express what he was thinking.

"I know you're more self-conscious and awkward than most people; but I also know that you're more kind hearted than most people. And it's not just me; everyone in the entire taskforce knows it. They just don't say anything because it would embarrass you. You notice all the little flaws in people, even me. And I always thought I had no faults. You call me on my crap, and that's one of the things I love about you, L.

All this time I thought that I could or would meet someone that could match me on my intellectual level, someone that could hold my attention for more than 10 seconds. It seemed like everyone around me was so tiresome and tedious to deal with, that there was some pressure to be something that I wasn't to please everyone. My parents, so called friends, my teachers, everyone to be some sort of perfect god-like figure. But I realized that with you, there's no pressure at all. With you, there's never a dull moment. Ever. I mean one day I'm handcuffed to you and the next I'm dragging you out of a gay bar with you completely wasted." Light took a pause to chuckle before continuing. "Even though you probably won't remember anything I'm telling you, I just want you to know that…I care about you. A lot more than I should. It's impossible to try and hate you; I just can't do it anymore because….because I love you, L." Light clamped his mouth shut, that last sentence just flying off his tongue before he could even think.

_Whoa. Did I really just say that? Maybe he won't notice… _But sadly, it was quite the opposite. The detective smiled and placed a quick chaste peck on the teen's lips before wrapping his arms around Light's waist, squeezing softly. He buried his face into Light's collarbone.

"Thank you, Light-kun; you have no idea how long I've waited for someone to speak those exact words." Ryuzaki murmured, breathing in Light's scent. Light stood rooted to the spot, absolutely mortified. L had sounded completely lucid and clear, as if he was…never drunk. Could someone sober up that quickly? No. There was no way. Unless…

"Ryuzaki?" he began cautiously. "Were you…pretending to be intoxicated this entire time?" The elder man glanced up at Light, a guiltless expression plastered on his face.

"Now, Light-kun, why on earth would anyone do that?" he said, answering the question. Light felt his eye twitch. _He had heard and understood every word of that little speech I just made. Oh. Shit. I told him I _**LOVED HIM**_. Oh shit, oh shit, shit shit shit…! _On one hand, Light was incredibly impressed. Never in his life had he seen such a convincing act. But on the other hand, his heart was beating in his chest so loudly that he was sure L could feel it.

"So...you heard what I said?" his brow crumpled, wanting to kick himself for being such an idiot. At least he hadn't revealed the fact that he was Kira. Any longer and that almost definitely would have come out.

"Yes. And the feeling is mutual." By now, their foreheads were touching; Light had his arms around Ryuzaki's neck, gazing into the detective's unfathomable slate gray eyes. There was nothing but love and compassion shining his eyes. Suddenly, L closed the two inch gap between them, planting a chaste yet passionate kiss on the teen's lips, reaching back behind his head to twine his finger's in Light's hair, pulling him closer if that was possible. Light could tell it wasn't just a normal kiss; this was a hungry, needing kiss. L wanted to know that Light was his and if he would accept his love him. Almost as if he had been rejected by someone else before. _No! This is wrong on so many levels. I can't love Ryuzaki, L. As much as I want to, I can't. Kira won't allow it... _He felt L's shoulders shaking and him pulling away. His face was streaked with tears. He was smiling weakly, noiselessly weeping. They weren't tears of sadness they were tears of…joy. To Light, this was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, it almost broke his heart. This moment is what Ryuzaki had been waiting for his whole life.

Right then, the dam in Light just broke. His resolve, his willpower, everything in him was swept away in its raging current. All the, spite, malice, malevolence, all the hatred he had felt for this man was being replaced by a single emotion: Love. It was as if the world was falling around them and nothing else mattered. It was as if it wasn't gravity holding him to the earth, but L. It took him enough time to realize it but L _was _his world. His heaven or his hell wouldn't be complete without L. Light enveloped Ryuzaki in an embrace, holding him as tight as possible, burying his head in the detective's shoulder, silently sobbing. He wanted to protect L forever, protect him from anything that would try to hurt him. L deserved it.

_Kira can go to hell. All I want is to be with the person I love, and at this moment, that happens to be L. It is and always will be. We need each other, to have and to hold, we're incomplete without each other. He found something in me that no one else could find. He found the flawed, imperfect Light Yagami that no one else could see and dragged it to the surface. Everything is becoming crystal clear to me now. In order for us to be together, the only way we an ever be happy together, the only way I'll be able to live without this guilt and blood on my hands, the only way I can stop lying to him…I have to give up the Death Note and my memories... I have to give up Kira._

**A/N: So, what'd you think? Should I continue this or did it suck so badly that you never wanna see me write again? I'm totally freaking tired but I tried to keep as many grammatical errors as possible (if you find one, sorry). Either way, please review, I'll give you a cookie if you do! ^_^ **


	2. My Cross to Bear

**Hey everyone! I'm not done with this fanfiction (obviously), this is chapter two, kinda inspired by the Tarzan soundtrack "You'll be in my heart" and the song by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus "Your Guardian Angel" (- love that song so much!). I guess I could say the entire fanfic was inspired by those two songs. The first part of this story is gonna be kinda awkward and turtle-y but should pick up pace towards the end, a bit of foreshadowing in the ending which I think is cool. Yeah anyways, I might end up switching to L's or Light's POV, it just depends which one is easier to write with depending on what situation they're in. Anywho, onwards with the story!**

**OH! My word of the day: Malinger- to fake sick to avoid or get out of doing something. Who knew there was a word for that! ^_^**

After Light's realization and confession, the next few days between the two geniuses had been…awkward. No not because of them practically confessing their love to each other, but because of two other people. Light's homophobic father and the idiot police officer named Matsuda. Soichiro wasn't a threat at the moment; he didn't suspect any new behavior among the new couple, oblivious as always. L and Light had acted like almost nothing had changed, acting civil as always during the day and during work hours. But Matsuda could tell something was up, and he was going to find out what. He was a police detective after all.

He had been observing them closely, noticing every little thing like how their hands brushed against each other in much greater frequency than before. How Light remained virtually glued to Ryuzaki, even more despite the fact that they were wearing handcuffs. Before a few days ago, Light would always make a point to stay as far away from the detective as the chain would allow, but now, it was like they couldn't be sitting close enough. And right now, L was… HOLDING LIGHT'S HAND IN HIS LAP? Matsuda whipped his head around to see if anyone was seeing the same thin, but no one but he was looking their way. Soichiro and Mogi were going over the Yotsuba Group's employees a few couches away, not paying a speck of attention to the young officer. Aizowa was nowhere to be seen, most likely in the bathroom.

"L why are you holding Light's hand!" Matsuda exclaimed without thinking. This usually happened; it was as if his mind and mouth weren't connected and his mouth spat out something without consulting his mind. And he hated his mouth for it. It had gotten him into awkward situations on countless occasions… like now. Everyone had turned towards him with varying degrees of shock, anger, and boredom.

"W-what did you just say, Matsuda?" Chief Yagami stuttered, obviously shocked. Surprise peppered even Mogi's usually stoic expression. Aizowa had frozen in his spot in the doorway, eyes wide, fingers in mid-zip on his pants. Light and L had hastily separated, Light wheeled away from the detective, chain taut. Matsuda pointed at the two geniuses, his mouth on autopilot at this point.

"Those two have been acting really strange lately. I don't know what it is but it seems like they're more intimate than they were a few days ago, and L—I mean Ryuzaki—was just holding Light's hand!" He turned to Light and Ryuzaki. "I need to know, the suspense has been _killing_ me. Are you guys gay?"

Light's lower eyelid twitched. _What are we a soap opera? _He wracked his brain for a response, a rebuttal, anything but he couldn't take his eyes off the bulging vain in his father's forehead. Did I mention he was homophobic?

"Light," Chief Yagami began calmly, "what is Matsuda talking about, surely he's joking. Right?" Light opened his mouth to speak, but it was dry as cotton. What was he going to say? He was definitely holding L's hand, even Matsuda knew it. And Matsuda was an idiot! Ryuzaki glanced over at Light, the same monotone expression on his face. He turned towards Chief Yagami, blinking.

"I'm going to be honest with you Mr. Yagami, your son and I are—"

"Becoming really good friends!" Light cut him off hastily, clamping his hand over the detective's mouth. "Holding hands is a…sign of friendship… in America." _WHAT? Where'd I pull that bullshit from! Oh well, no one but Ryuzaki and I know much about American customs but perhaps they'll buy it…_

Soichiro's brow furrowed and his face relaxed a little.

"Oh…well, ok then. But I still don't want to condone that kind of behavior here so not while we're working." He replied gruffly, not doubting his brilliant son. He nodded awkwardly to Light and L, mumbling an apology before returning to his work. Light's mind sagged with relief. They dodged a bullet there for now. He hadn't realized that he still had his hand covering L's mouth until the detective stuck out his tongue to lick Light's palm, making Light hiss in surprise. L snickered, spinning his chair back to his laptop.

Light glared balefully at his partner, who in turn rolled his eyes, feeling Light's gaze boring into the back of his head. After few minutes of things falling into a painfully awkward silence, he could hear footsteps coming up behind him. He spun to see Matsuda striding towards him and Ryuzaki with an obvious nonchalant expression on his face. He slid up to Light, leaning on the counter.

"So, listen, you guys." He began, dropping his voice to a whisper. "I know you were just putting up a front to the chief, but you and I both know that there's something going on between you two eh? You can tell me, are you two like…together?" L sputtered out a short laugh, continuing to type at his human speed, not even bothering to turn to the younger detective. Light felt like laughing too. Matsuda sounded like a 13 year old girl who was asked by her friend to find out if the guy she liked liked her back. It made sense in Light's mind. He sighed.

"No, Matsuda. We are not 'together' or whatever you want to call it." He lied smoothly, irritation coloring his tone. "I wasn't pretending; Ryuzaki and I are just friends. That's all. Friends. Just friends." Matsuda pursed his lips, deciding whether or not to believe this.

"Alright, whatever you say Light." He replied and proceeded to walk away. His comment had some underlying meaning that made Light narrow his eyes in slight suspicion.

A few hours later, another unproductive day was coming to an end. Nevertheless, L addressed the taskforce as they began their way out of the headquarters.

"Thank you everyone for your hard work, I believe we are one step closer to finding Kira." The other men murmured their weary agreements, shuffling out of the door. Light waved his goodnight to his father before lifting his arms over head in a luxurious stretch. Once everyone was gone, he turned toward the detective.

"So L, what do you want to do? I'm not really tired but maybe we can watch a movie?" He suggested. They never did get to see their movie the other day when they had gone on their date. Ryuzaki chuckled, hopping out of his desk chair. He flexed his back, letting the muscles loosen and unwind, feeling the relaxation move through his body. It felt incredible. Despite the fact that he wanted to get a bit more work done, he nodded to Light's request.

"We have a few DVD's to select from in my bedroom. Was there anything in particular that you'd like to watch Light-kun?" The teen quirked his eyebrow.

"You can just call me Light you know?" he smiled sweetly, giving L's nose a quick kiss. The detective blushed softly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sorry, it was just a force of habit…Light." The name without honorifics felt discomfited on L's tongue. He bit back the '-kun' just in time. He smiled, taking Light's hand and leading him up the flight translucent stairs to the bedroom he and the teen shared. Upon entering, he padded over to a cabinet that Light had never noticed before. It was a large wooden armoire, with two heavy double doors. Ryuzaki threw open, revealing a plethora of DVD cases of every size and color. They didn't seem to follow any particular pattern or any type of organized system. It looked almost full to bursting. Light scanned over row after row of movies, his eyes going wide. L had every type of film Light could think of. And he could think of _a lot. _

"There must be over 300 movies here!" Light breathed. L nodded admirably.

"Yes, 302 to be exact. These are only a few of my…collection. Besides sweets, I have an unnatural love for motion picture as well. I have taken such great care of each of them; you will find not a single scratch or flaw on any of them." He grinned proudly, like a child who just won 1st place at his science fair. Ryuzaki reached out to brush a bit of imaginary dust of one of the spines, taking it out of its tight quarters.

"They're organized so meticulously that I don't even allow Watari to touch them. Even though they are in complete disarray, I have them in a way that I know where they all are. Intuition I suppose." He chuckled. "So take your pick, you can choose anything you like." The detective smiled, stepping aside. Light squinted, trying to decide which one would be the most appropriate. He had a few in mind, but for some reason, he found his eyes drifting to one movie in particular. Tarzan. Why? He wasn't sure, but he pointed at the Disney classic, not wanting to disturb the…delicate balance Ryuzaki had set up. The detective tiled his head, confused.

"Why did you choose that movie Light?" He asked. Light shrugged.

"Because the way he sits reminds me of you." He replied without thinking. L laughed at this. He actually laughed. It wasn't a sarcastic or spiteful chuckle, it was a real laugh that rang from L's chest. It resonated around the large room like the sound of a chiming church bell, warm yet playful. It made Light smile to see the detective so joyful for once and not so monotonous and neutral.

After a few minutes, they got the movie set up, along with a few slices of cake to tide L over until the movie was over. They had just decided to snuggle into their bed, the flat screen opposite from them mounted on the wall. The room was dark, the television screen illuminating the space. Light let out a contented sigh as he felt L's strong arms wrap around his torso, pulling the teen closer to his slender frame. Ryuzaki kissed Light's head, smiling into the teen's hair.

"Don't you wish things could be like this all the time?" he murmured, hardly aware that he had asked the question. He melted into L, wishing he could just remain in those arms forever. It slightly reminded Light of his adolescent years, long before he had acquired the Death Note.

When he and his sister Sayu were younger, they would have movie nights every Friday night. Whether it was a horror or comedy, they would be there, leaned against each other on their family couch. Sayu would usually fall asleep first so Light, being the responsible older brother he was, would always have a blanket on hand to cover her with. Afterwards he would carry her up to her room, tucking her into her bed before going to his own room to sleep. Those movie nights were their way of bonding, their way to reconnect. Up until 2 years ago, they still had them every week. Sayu would take the time to vent about school and boys, and Light, her faithful steadfast big brother, would always be there to listen. A rueful tear slid down Light's cheek despite is efforts to hold it back.

_Why, _he wondered, _can't things go back to the way they were? Things that I thought were so mundane and trivial are what I long for the most now. But now I have to carry around the burden of Kira. All the people I've killed, the blood shed for my own ambitions. It's the cross I have to bear, but I can't give it up now, I just can't. I will continue to make this work a better place. A place where my sister, my family, my L, and I can live peacefully. Without fear of injustice or crime. _**This**_ Is why I became Kira. I know it will be worth it someday. I will overcome this._

It wasn't until then that Light realized he was trembling. L took Light's hand in his, using his free arm to wrap around the teen. The detective's squeezed his eyes shut. Light was suddenly exhausted, all strength draining from his limbs, rendering them useless. He was about to slip into unconsciousness, dream world and reality blurring into a hazy mess, when he heard L's resolute voice sound softly in his ear

"We will overcome this. I will stay with you always, Light Yagami, until the very end."

Unbeknownst to them, they did not notice the pair of crimson red eyes that glowed with malice and abhorrence outside their bedroom window, determined to make sure that L would never fulfill his promise.

**"You'll Be In My Heart"**

Come stop your crying  
It will be all right  
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you  
from all around you  
I will be here  
Don't you cry

For one so small,  
you seem so strong  
My arms will hold you,  
keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
Can't be broken  
I will be here  
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart, always.

~Phil Collins

**Awww I love that song, it makes me wanna cry whenever I hear it! But yeah, I only put the Tarzan movie in was because I wanted an excuse to incorporate the lyrics in there lol. I realize that this chapter probably didn't make much sense, but hopefully it'll make more sense later. It was like half the length of the first one and it felt really rushed and random. Nonetheless, I will press on with the plot! The next chapter is going to be…interesting I hope, much more *evil grin* so just please bear with me until then, it'll be worth it! Plus I have spring break next week which means late nights and non-stop writing, so if you do by some crazy chance enjoy this fanfic so far, I plan to have at least 2 more chapters written by next Saturday. Operative word being PLAN! Geez I talk a lot. Sorry for taking up more of your time, R&R would be nice! ^_^**


	3. Things That Go 'B'ump in the Night

**Hey people, back again, this chapter I just wrote on a whim, I thought a cool twist would be interesting lol. I really hope you like it! It's spring break thank god! I now I can write with reckless abandon! :D I had an extremely good day actually, but I won't bore you with details, mostly because I bet you won't care XD aaaanyway, read away, I hope you enjoy it!**

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The indistinct silhouette of a man crept through the heavily guarded window with ease. Cracking high end security systems were part of his specialty. He hoisted himself into the space, slinking through the shadows towards the bed located in the central part of the room. He was being particularly careful to be quiet; he didn't want to have to deal with mundane affairs such as having to kill anyone that saw him. That usually could get pretty messy, and he didn't have the time to be cleaning up or making a commotion.

Approaching the large bed, he looked down at the sleeping couple. They looked so peaceful, one being held in the other's arm, their chests rising and falling in unison.

_Oh L, you never change. You always overlook the most important details because you believe that any threat to you will be able to be seen a mile away. And now, I'm going to take what's most important to you, just as you did to me. Oh my how the tables have turned. This will be the most fun I've had for a while! _He had to stop himself from letting out a small cackle while he drew out the cloth he had soaked with chloroform, covering his target's nose and mouth. He was sleeping, yes, but there was the distinct possibility that the teen would stir. After a few seconds the man was certain Light wouldn't wake. He picked the simple lock on the boy's handcuff, letting it fall to the bed with a thud. He knew L was a heavy sleeper when he wanted to be, and the fact that he was able the get into the room without the detective noticing proved that point.

The only dilemma was the fact of lifting Light from his bed and back outside. The window used for breaking in was on the first floor so that wasn't a problem. But being completely limp, the kid was much heavier than he looked. And his captor had exceptionally skinny arms. He had considered dragging the boy, but again, that would also be messy considering there was a large amount of mud in this area at the time. Dragging Light would also make it easier for L to find out where he was. And where was the fun in that?

He finally decided just to pick Light up and carry him bridal style, the easiest way he could think of, and proceeded to make his way back out. But before he left, he made sure to leave L a little note to start the game.

The man lumbered a few blocks, climbing into a taxi he had set up in one of the many dark alleyways in the city. Before climbing in, he took off his shoes and put them in a bag, putting on gloves before he touched the bag. He then gave the bag to the cabdriver with strict instructions to burn it when he got done dropping him and Light off.

"Onward." He commanded wearily, his arms tired from the walking and carrying. Light, still knocked out, was lying sprawled across the backseat, his arm hanging off the edge of the seat. Having no room for him, the man sat in the front passenger seat.

After about a half hour drive, the cab reached the man's temporary home, a worn-out and partially abandoned apartment complex. He tipped the driver exceedingly well, gathering the "sleeping" Light's body through the narrow doorway of the old rundown dwelling. The teen's head lolled back and smacked against the wooden door frame. _Well. That's going to leave a bruise tomorrow. _The man chuckled darkly, wasting no time in setting the boy up in his simple homemade rig. Two metal cuffs mounted from the ceiling suspended by a thick chain were attached to Light's wrist, and two more for his ankles. Thought the ankle braces didn't have any real purpose, it made the rig look much more...complete. Light was hanging about a foot off the ground by now, his wrists supporting a great deal of his body weight. _Someone is going to be a touch sore in the morning…_

The man shuffled up to his captive, examining his facial features like that of a scientist examining a prized specimen. The boy was exceptionally attractive, even while unconscious. The man was almost tempted to have his way with Light right then in there, but he resisted. It would be much more interesting when Light was awake, hearing his pleading screams would be music to his ears. There would be plenty of time for that and many other fun things in the morning. With that, he gave the boy's cheek a quick kiss, trotting over into his minuscule kitchen.

He never kept anything in it except for his fridge. He threw the door to the icebox open, revealing rows and rows of not\ing but strawberry jam. He was salivating as he grabbed and unscrewed one of the jars, scooping a finger full of the sticky substance, and licked it clean off. No bread, no toast, just the jam. The saccharine flavor rode on a shockwave throughout his body, making him grin crookedly in elation. He had been without his jam for far too long. Maybe…2 hours? Either way, it felt like a lifetime. He practically skipped out of his kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom to get some rest. Yes tomorrow was going to be an eventful day indeed.

The next morning, L awoke with a smile on his face. He'd actually had a good dream, a refreshing change of pace to the reoccurring nightmare he usually had when a deranged Watari clown tried to steal his cake. But that was a different story entirely. In this dream, he and Light had solved the Kira case, Light had ended up not being Kira after all. Light moved back with L to Winchester, England and got a cozy mansion (oxymoron right?) near Whammy's House. Light got to meat Near and Mello, and Matt, and all the other orphans there. He finally got to be challenged by students that rivaled his incredible intellect. Light was happy. That was all that mattered. He and L lived together forever without any worries or fears, without any cares in the world. If it sounds cheesy, it's because it was. At this point in time it didn't seem like a plausible idea, but he thought he would share his dream with the teen nonetheless. L turned over in the bed, expecting to see Light's face, but was met by an empty space. Ryuzaki was immediately alarmed. He hadn't taken the handcuffs off of Light. And Light would never try and pick the lock for any reason. If he needed to go somewhere, he would have simply woken L up and requested they go to the bathroom or wherever the destination was. Watari wouldn't have removed Light; his father couldn't have…So why was he missing?

Before his mind could go into a complete frenzy, he scrambled out of his bed, tangled in the sheets for a few moments before hitting the nubby carpet. He was met by his answer. On the wall opposite to him, there was a message written in completely comprehensible characters on the wall beside flat screen TV. It was written entirely out of strawberry jam. L went rigid with horror as he read the letter left for him.

_Why hello, L, so it seems we meet again!_

_Remember those few years ago, when I swore to you that I would rue the day you sent me away to rot in prison? The time has come! You let your guard down and now your precious Light is gone. Poof! Disappeared. And it's up to you to find him. You'd better hurry though, your time limit is 5 days. Who knows, anything could happen in that short amount of time. Oh what a quandary, what a quagmire, what a crunch! Oh and since the game is just between us, no using the police as back up. I don't really want to have to bribe my way out of prison again. It's time to put the world's greatest detective to the test. _

_B._

L's eyes were steely as he leaped to his feet, his fists clenching so tight that his knuckles turned pallid. He was so livid that his vision was beginning to haze crimson. L's thoughts were roiling around in his brain like a raging maelstrom, making him unable to think about anything except the violent anger that wracked through his body so violently that it made his muscles quake.

No. This can't be happening. Not again. This was a dream. That's it, it has to be a dream. There's no possible way that B could have ever gotten out of prison. Ever. That bastard was supposed to be rotting in a cell for the rest of his wretched and pitiful life. L had made damn sure of it.

*Flashback starts now*

A single bulb illuminated the otherwise pitch black interrogation room, shining upon the only furniture within the space, a small metal table and two uncomfortable-looking chairs, one with arms that were seemingly for the use of handcuffs. A pallid, dark-haired man was led bound into the room, and sat in the chair opposite the door, handcuffs fastened tightly to the arms, and also to his wrists. After the guards left, it only took about five minutes for another man to enter the room and take the seat opposite his suspect. This man was identical to the other, accept for his onyx, mirror-like eyes and particularly bizarre stance. This detective, L, stared into the crimson eyes of the killer (for, so-called suspect' or no, he knew that this man was guilty), and waited for what seemed like a perpetuity before speaking.

"Why?"

Crimson eyes stared back at the detective, a mischievous glint within them.

"...Tell me something L, what do people value most?"

"You have no right to ask me anything."

"But, I need your answer to determine my own."

The detective sighed, placing his hands upon his knees and not saying a word, but still staring at the criminal. The suspect crossed one leg over the other, and relaxed back into the chair. Well as relaxed as one could be when being strapped down by metal cuffs.

"I believe what people value most is their own life. Or rather, the lives of their loves ones. You see, life is a delicate thing. We're born, we live, and we die. The circle of life as some people call it. But there are some people in this world, who don't deserve to live. They live lives without meaning, without purpose. They cause trouble for others and for themselves. Even though they might mean well, everyone winds up in the end with blood on their hands, one way or another. They must atone for their sins. And in order for that to happen, a sacrifice must be made, be it human or non-human. You, L, are a prime example of this fact. You have devoted your life to detective work. And for what? To solve crimes and lock away the bad guys? What about those who were innocent? Did you ever think for once that those people have loved ones of their own that they would never see again? They would never get to say their last goodbyes, to hug them one more time. But you don't have any loved ones, do you L?"

The detective continued to stare at him with those owl-eyes, no expression clouding his features. However, was that a spark of anger in his eye? Fear, perhaps?

_What is he getting at? Is he bluffing? _The detective wondered.

"...My personal affairs and relationships have nothing to do with this."

The blank expression had returned to its flawless state. Ruby eyes brightened, a smirk appearing upon the pale face of the accused.

"Oh, but it does..." _You don't know how much it really does change this situation, L...and here I had thought you would be a bit more enigmatic. Tsk, tsk._

The suspect, no, the cold-blooded killer, continued to equivocate L until the bitter end of their "interrogation". In the end, he simply confessed...yes, he had killed all those people...and he did not regret it one bit. He also added something else as he was being hauled out of the room by two guards.

"Just wait L, I'll be back as soon as you won't expect it, and I will take everything that is dear to you and leave you with nothing. I'll teach you what it truly means to suffer. You will rue this day, L, you will rue it!" With that, he threw his head back in a bone-chilling maniacal cackle that seemed like it came from the deepest pits of hell. L could do nothing but stand, rooted to the spot as he watched the criminal be dragged down the hallway.

The man, who went by the alias of BB, or Beyond Birthday, was sent to prison for life.

*Flashback ends*

Ryuzaki tore through the headquarters building on a rampant search, yelling out Light's name repeatedly. He needed to find the teen so he could confirm that this was just some appallingly frightening dream that his unconscious mind had conjured up as he slept. He searched through every room and closet in the vast building, not thinking about anything else. It wasn't until Watari stopped him in his tracks did he impede. The older man's face was creased with worried wrinkles as he gripped the detective's scrawny shoulders.

"What's wrong, L, is something the matter?" he asked, trying to calm the man down. L's whole body was trembling as he came to the chilling realization.

"B's back. And he took Light with him." His eyes were darting around everywhere except the old man's face. "This is a dream right? It has to be a dream. There's no way. No way, no way, no way…" Ryuzaki kept repeating this to himself as Watari guided him to a chair to sit. He waited a few moments before speaking.

"L, you need to calm down. I've never seen you act like this before, you're practically hysterical. You need to calm down so that we can figure this out. Now what happened?" The detective took his caretaker up to his room to show him the 'note' left on the wall. Watari gasped, whipping his cell phone out of his pocket and about to dial a number, the task force team most likely, or more policemen. L snatched the phone out of the man's hand, snapping it shut.

"Do you not read the sign? This is B we're talking about; he does not say things he does not mean. Most likely, he has his eyes on the police and if he sees them making any abnormal movements, he'll know immediately and Light would be…" he couldn't even finish the sentence, just letting it taper off. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Ryuzaki lowered his head in grief, his hair shrouding his eyes so that Watari couldn't see the hot tears that escaped.

_How could I let this happen? I was careless and now Light, my Light, is…_

After a few long moments, the detective lifted his head slowly, his eyes steely and determined, clenching his fists. His mouth was twisted into a furious scowl.

"Watari." He growled, "Get Mr. Yagami on the line and make up an excuse for Light's absence. This is something I must do on my own. Instruct the other task force members not to come in for the next few days. I don't want anyone else involved in this. Do it now. " The old man nodded hurriedly after L gave him back his cell phone, speed walking into another room to make the calls.

L dashed to his computer, trying to decipher, to constrict any shard information he could from that message. _He must be somewhere in the Kanto area. Knowing B, he would WANT me to find him. Most likely in a rundown part of town or some sort of hotel or apartment, he wouldn't waste his resources on a superfluous rooming arrangement, instead he'd spend it on something like his strawberry jam…That could be part of it!_Ryuzaki began typing, his fingers flying on the keyboard as if they were moving on their own accord. He feverishly worked straight through the day and throughout the night, not pausing for a second even when overwhelming languor tugged at his brain and body.

_No. I won't loose Light. I'm not going to loose another person I care about to that… monster. And when I find B, I'm going to make sure he's executed, I'll kill him with my bare hands if I have to. I'll find you Light, I swear it. _

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_**A/N: *sigh* I'm not exactly satisfied with this ending, but it'll do. Next chapter will probably be more interesting, that's when the torture begins, and Light will actually make an appearance unlike this chapter :P R&R please! **


	4. Toward the Climax

**New chapter up! Originally this chapter along with 5 and 6 were one big chapter but I decided to break it up. I have no idea if anyone is still reading this but regardless I'm going to finish it! :DD** **For those 10 people actually reading, enjoy!**

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**Light struggled to open his sleep-encrusted eyes. His head was lolled forwards, his chin resting on his chest. His eyelids felt unbearably heavy, like he was recovering from some hangover, but he didn't remember drinking. The next very noticeably different thing was the prominent aching in his wrists. In fact, his whole body felt soporific, like he had been tied by the wrists to a galloping horse and was dragged through the city behind it on the asphalt. He lifted his head slowly to a disturbing sight. He was bound by handcuffs. Same situation for his ankles. He had the ability to move his legs, but lacked the motivation to. He knew the signs of bondage when he saw it.

Light's mind was in a muddled fog, hardly able to form a coherent thought except for one: Where the fuck am I? He lifted his eyes, scanning the space he was in. He couldn't see anything past the small circle of light illuminating from the single florescent bulb dangling from the ceiling.

_What is going on? Is this a dream? This has to be a dream right? No, I wouldn't feel pain or be disoriented in a dream. Who would tie me up like this? Surely not L. Even if he did think I was Kira, there's no way he would ever go this far. But…who else would? Someone must have drugged me and brought me here, wherever 'here' might be. I can see why someone would want to have Light Yagami to themselves but…WHAT? Am I really that conceited? This is hardly the time to be thinking such things. I need to find out what's going on...huh?_

Light's thoughts screeched to a halt as a figure shifted in the darkness beyond the reach of the luminosity. He squinted, his eyebrows furrowing.

"H-hello? Who's there?" he called out, more angry than anything. "You'd better come out you sick bastard, what is the meaning of this?" The figure stayed silent, moving closer to the teen. Light gasped as it stepped closer. "L?" He would recognize that hedgehog hair anywhere. The detective was wearing the same thing he always did, baggy white shirt and wrinkled denim jeans. Light growled. _That bastard, I thought he believed I wasn't Kira, I thought he loved me. And I was foolish enough to believe he ever loved me. He was able to get close to me and now…_

"Why do you have me tied up like this L? I'm not Kira!" 'L' threw his head back in a cackle that made Light shiver in trepidation. No, this couldn't be L. L would never laugh like that. Also, L didn't have… ruby red eyes.

Light's eyes widened, petrified for the first time in his life. "W-who are you?" The L look alike smirked.

"So L never told you about me?" his voice was dangerous and condescending at the same time. Light gasped and 'L' laughed, clapping his hands.

"Bravo, Light, in exactly 2.5 seconds flat, you came up with 31 possible identities for me. And one of those is exactly right." The man bowed with ersatz civility. "You may address me as B." Light glowered, struggling futilely against his chains.

"Why did you bring me here? Let me go!" he yelled, also belting out a string of colorful profanity. B waited patiently for the cursing and kicking and screaming to die down before he spoke again. At this point Light was worn out. There was no way he could escape from these confines and he was at the mercy of this deranged stranger.

"My, you sure are a feisty one. Breaking you is going to be such fun! Now that you're ready to comply, I'm going to lay out some ground rules for our little game. Number one, I'm going to ask you some questions. But if I get even the slightest inkling that you are lying, well, you'll find out the consequences later on. Number two, feel free to yell and scream and talk as much as you like, I won't stop you. That just makes things more amusing!" B let out a short laugh, gliding up to the teen so that their faces were only inches apart. "And rule number three," his voice dropped to a dangerous rapacious murmur, "you will let me do whatever I want to you. But it's not as if you have a choice now is it?" B let his fingers slide up Light's arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Light shivered.

"You…perverted bastard." He countered weakly, breathing erratic and uneven. B chuckled and took a few steps back, pacing.

"Now, question time. Inquiry one, what is your name?" Light raised his eyebrow. B had already called him by his name before. Nevertheless, he answered, not wanting to upset B. Who knew what this whack-job could be capable of?

"Light Yagami." He stated. B nodded, pacing the other way.

"Your age?"

"Seventeen." B laughed at this.

"Not even of legal age? My, my, L, you sure know how to pick them young!" the man said, talking more to himself than Light. "Anyway, next question. Tell me, are you L's lover?" This question caught Light off guard. What had prompted him to ask such a thing? Light lowered his gaze to the cracked wooden floor.

"No, not at all." He answered truthfully. The man tilted his head, glancing up at the ceiling.

"Oh," he said loftily, "well then I suppose you must mean nothing to him." At this, Light pressed his lips into a hard line. He lifted his head to glare malignly into those crimson eyes.

"While I may not be his lover, I _know_ that I am not nothing to him." B narrowed his eyes, glaring right back, a malignant glint in his eye.

"Well I hope you're right about that. I hope for your pitiful sake that he cares as much about you as you to him." Light couldn't help the pink blush that adorned his cheeks. He turned his head so that the man couldn't see. And it was a good thing too as he was not able to see the small pocket knife B had drawn from his back pocket. Light did in fact hear the minute click it made as the blade flicked out. He screwed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain of the knife penetrating his flesh. He knew it was coming.

_L, please save me, please…_

L had not stopped working for 48 hours straight, overwhelmingly driven. The only time he had even remotely stopped was when his bladder nearly exploded from lack of release. Even then Ryuzaki took his laptop into the bathroom with him. 2 days were up and he only had three more. Tracking B had not been an easy task. There were no leads, no evidence, nothing left behind. B was a mastermind when it came to covering his tracks. It was 3:11 am when the call came in. The detective's cell phone started buzzing in his pocket and he picked it up, examining it. The caller ID was…Light! L would have screamed if he wasn't so exhausted. L snapped it open, talking in a flurry of words.

"Light! Light where are you calling from? Are you okay? Did B hurt you? How are you able to call me? Did he release you? Did you get away? Are you alright?"

"Haha wow, L, you sure seem overjoyed." A voice sounded over the phone. Not Light's voice. L's stomach sank down to his toes and his blood ran cold.

"B, you scum, what have you done with Light?" L snarled into the phone. The man on the other end laughed.

"Ooooh I like it, the scary voice! The voice of a man who's lover was stolen away." L could hear the sardonic tone dripping from every word. B let the sharp blade of his knife absentmindedly trace against the skin of Light's stomach, not piercing the skin. The teen could do nothing but swallow the lump in his throat. Tear's pricked the back of his eyes and he looked towards the ceiling. _L… _

Light suddenly screamed out in agony as B plunged the razor blade into the flesh of Light's hip, just missing the bone. The metal sliced through his skin with little effort and dug straight in. Instantly, Light cried out in pain and felt the effect of the knife. A searing burn flared up his side, consuming him in agony and making his mind go blank. Besides pain, nerves were starting to rise in him. _Will I make it out of this alive?_ The man jerked the knife in a bit further. Light's vision blurred as tears lined his eyes. A crimson blush spread across his pants as B wrenched the knife, dragging it roughly through Light's skin, in turn tearing the boy's pants to shreds.

"L! Help me please!" Light's scream came out as a strangled cry, his tears streaming down his cheeks now as he writhed in vain against B's muscular hands

"What the hell are you doing to him? Where are you?" The detective shouted, trying not to let the waves of fear that wracked through his body color his voice. L tried to keep his voice as calm as possible. He didn't want to give this bastard any satisfaction of knowing that he made him squirm.

"You wanna know? You specialize in detective work don't you?" B's voice was completely composed and unruffled as if he was sitting back in a chair, ready to engage in a nice long conversation instead of torturing someone. "It shouldn't be too hard to figure out where I'm hiding. I'm sure you've figured out that I'm still in the Kanto area. I've also left you something that could probably give you a little nudge in your investigation, it should be in your room now. Hurry, hurry, Lawlipop, time is running out! That's all I'll give you for now." With that, the maniac let out one final sinister snigger, cutting the connection mid-laugh.

"Wait!" L cried into the dead phone line. He clutched the phone in his hand, absolutely livid. In one grunt, he angrily hurled it to the other end of the task force headquarters. It smashed against the wall, shattering into shards of plastic. Well. Now it certainly would make it harder for B to call later.

"Dammit!" He screamed at the ceiling, the sound of his cry reverberating off the concrete._ How could I let this happen?_

The revolting sound of Light's desperate screams resonated in L's ears. They seemed to engrave themselves in his brain. The detective suddenly felt nauseated, grabbing the nearest garbage bin and vomiting into it. It was more like a dry heave though, he hadn't eaten anything in days. With his stomach now in a painful knot, he wiped his mouth off and ascended up the stairs to find out what "clue" B had left for him.

Once in his room, the detective's keen eyes spotted a piece of paper on his bed, a wrapper to be exact. L rushed to the bed, snatching up the packaging and held it to his face.

_C.C's Strawberry Jam, best jam in the Kanto region!_

L's brow furrowed as he thoroughly scanned the paper. _This must have come from one of B's jam jars. It has a website on it, I'm sure I could go there and access the online order forms, knowing B he would have bought it in bulk. It won't be hard to find the abnormality. I'll have to be careful though, businesses might also use this manufacturer and buy large amounts as well… _

On the back there was something written on it as well, another note.

_Hi L,_

_I'm sure you're stumped so I brought something to help you along. And by the way, Light doesn't respond well to pain. He's a lot less sturdy than I had originally thought. Oh well, his screams are absolute music to my ears! Adieu L, parting isn't such a sweet sorrow._

_B _

L growled under his breath, clenching the paper in his hands, crushing it. With newfound determination he dashed back down the stairs to his computer, feverishly typing in the web address. Their firewall was weak, easy for L to crack. He searched through the list of recent customers and immediately noticed one order in particular. Around it, most people had ordered only a few jars, but this one had over 4 cases with over 30 jars in each case. And it was to a residential location which meant it could only be B.

Hashigawa Apts. Room 13.

Of course it would be room 13, because 1 and 3 pushed together look like a 'B'. What a whack-job. L quickly entered the apartment complex in the mapquest and found the address. It was about 30 minutes from the headquarters. Without telling Watari, L abandoned his computer and raced back up his room. Digging around in the very bottom of his underwear drawer he found what he was searching for: a gun, a small pistol he kept handy just in case. He hadn't used one in a while but he was going to need it. With a face of grim determination, he stalked out the front doors of the headquarters to find B.

L took one of the many black sedans the taskforce had at their disposal under the building, his fingers fumbling for the keys as one of his hands gripped the steering wheel. He had to stop for just a moment to catch his breath. In a flash he revved the engine, stepping on the accelerator and practically fishtailing into the busy street.

"Get out of my way!" He screeched at the achingly slow mini-van that seemed to creep on the road in front of him. He punched the horn, letting it blare for a good few seconds before swerving around the car. He ignored the speed limit, he ignored red lights, pedestrians (although he miraculously managed not to hit anyone), all that mattered to him was finding Light.

_Just stay alive Light, you have to, you must. I'm coming to you, just hold out a little bit longer…_


	5. Unrepressed Memories

**Getting closer to the end (maybe) and I really hope Light doesn't die! Well I guess we'll see ^_^ Umm yeah it's a shorter chapter and I hope it's decent, but that's for you guys to decide! Either way, enjoy!**

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Light's body sagged on the chains. His breathing was labored, pain ebbing and flowing through his body. When he would take in another breath, it would peak, a stabbing like a thousand scorching scalpels in his torso. His legs and stomach where caked over with blood, layers and layers were forming as fresh warm blood ran down, dripped, and pooled beneath his feet. He had lost so much blood that he could hardly think anymore, his vision hazing. How long had it been? Days, weeks, months? Light couldn't tell. Time was obsolete. He had spent the last 2 days blacking out and regaining consciousness. Whenever he did regain awareness, B would take the sickest pleasure in tormenting the teen anyway possible.

At one point, B had decided to strip the boy nude, cover Light from head to toe in strawberry jam and lick him clean. It was _everywhere_ and Light couldn't do anything but squirm and plead while his body was sullied by the man's probing tongue. The worst part was while his mind was screaming stop, his body was screaming on its own accord. B took this reaction as invitation and proceeded to…have his way with Light.

*Flashback*

_B grabbed the teen's hair and yanked and all he could do was scream, but that did nothing. His naked body was spread against the wall, drenched with blood, sweat and tears._

"_Please, stop!" Light wailed. B's raven bangs shielded his eyes but his sick smirk said it all. He had no intention of stopping. _

_While he felt pleasure, Light felt pain. B's hair was sweaty and he was biting his bottom lip to keep from moaning out in triumph. Light was doing everything he could to study every single feature on the man's face. He felt violated and...ashamed. His virginity was ripped from him and all to a monster who calls himself a human being. B mercilessly thrust into Light again and again and again until finally, finally he came inside the teen's body. He finally removed himself from Light and walked away, but not before he turned around fully exposing his "tools", for lack of a better word, and said in an alluring and sexy yet ominous voice, _

_"I will not be gone long, my pet." When he turned around Light couldn't help but notice the perfectness of his gluts as he walked away fully naked._

*Flashback ending*

It seemed like years ago even though, in reality, it had only been a few hours. Light let out a shuddering sob, crying uncontrollably. They wouldn't stop, but they managed to leave clean streaks down his blood encrusted face. It seemed like crying was all he did these days, and that had to stop. The acrid tang of the sanguine fluid made Light's head whirl. He had always been wary about blood, especially if it was his own. Now it was spilling from his body, draining him and taking his life along with it. The mephitis had been partly responsible for the black-outs.

*Second Flashback*

"_You know, L isn't going to come for you. As cliché as it might sound, resistance is futile." B chuckled, his hand caressing Light's cheek with feign affection. Light cringed, turning his head defiantly to the man's touch. _

"_You scum, you don't know that." Light croaked, his throat arid. "L is going to come. I know it. He…. He loves me." B threw his head back, laughing. It was sardonic and contemptuous. He was literally holding his sides, doubled over in mirth._

"_L?" he spat, "Loving someone? Impossible! Ahaha! You really are amusing Light. L doesn't love anyone. Especially not an egotistical little brat like you. Trust me, I should know. I know who you are, Light Yagami. You're Kira." Light's eyes went wide in shock, the narrowed in suspicion. Well that conversation took an unforeseen twist. _

"_I don't know what you're talking about." Light prevaricated effortlessly, putting on the façade of someone who was guiltless. It was a skill he had cultivated since he was nine. It fooled his parents many times when he had said he was going to study but in actuality he was going to a party with his friends. He fooled many dates into thinking that he truly cared about what they blathered on about on one of his countless dates he went on in his teenage years. He had fooled L into believing that he wasn't Kira. This last one, Light was most ashamed of. B smirked with perspicacity._

"_Don't play naïve with me, Light. I know you are Kira, and there's no denying it." He held up Light's watch that was taken without the teen noticing. "The piece of your Death Note you keep in your wristwatch comes in handy doesn't it?" Light growled._

"_How do you know about the Death Note?" he was beginning to get nervous. This psycho knows about the Death Note? Impossible! _

"_Yes, I know about it." B replied, not answering the question. "And once L hears about this, your little love story will crash to earth." He announced in a sing-song voice, the omnipresent switch blade in his grasp, twirling it in his fingers. "I know you think that what you're doing is right, but in actuality, you're just a spoiled kid with an extreme god complex. You say that what you're doing is going to 'cleanse' the world, but it won't do anything. You're just an evil cold-blooded murderer, Light Yagami. Nothing more, and nothing less." Light's eyes widened, twitching._

"_You're wrong!" the teen snapped aggressively, thrashing against his confines, trying to free his wrists. "Kira is justice! I protect the innocent and those who eschew wickedness! I will destroy this old world and create a newer and better one in its place! I will become the sovereign of a new world that everyone wants! Those who oppose me, they are truly corrupt!" B's cerise eyes brightened, widening with sick euphoria. __**Oh what luck, what fate! To believe that he would actually admit to being Kira! That was easier than I thought…**__ B grinned crookedly, clicking the 'stop' button on the recorder hidden in his jean pocket. _

*Second Flashback Ending*

The familiar blackness began to claw at the edges of his vision, languor tugging at his brain. So much blood had been lost that Light was sure that he was dying at this point, he knew the symptoms. He would welcome it with open arms. He didn't have any incentive to live any longer. With going through the torture he had endured the past few days, he might as well be dead. Mu was inevitably waiting, that's all that he could hope for.

All that 'my life is flashing before my eyes' bullshit people say when they're about to die is exactly that. Bullshit. Mostly because Light didn't have much life to flash. He was a sweet precautious child, an exceedingly brilliant student who always followed the rules, and then there was the biggest part of his life: Kira. Killing thousands of people with the Death Note for his own selfish desires. Yep, that was pretty much it.

_Maybe I need to die. Maybe if Kira dies….the world might actually start moving in the right direction. Why is it now that I'm realizing this? I was too consumed in my voracity that I was blind to the very fact that I've just caused more tumult in the world than before Kira was born. But it's too late now, my body is getting so much weaker, I can hardly keep my eyes open. There's so much blood around me, and my skin feels so…icy. Come on, I'm so close. Just let me depart from this life please. So close…so close…so… _

"LIGHT!" A solitary voice shattered the darkness. Light wasn't even sure if he had heard it, or if it was just one last sadistic joke his mind conjured as the worst form of torture. The last thing Light wanted to hear before he died. L's voice.

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**A/N: Yeah that's a weird place to stop but it's getting close to the climax! The next chapter won't be the last one, but its pretty close! R&R!**


	6. Without a Hand of Regret

**New chapter up! It's an angst-y chapter (on L's part)…umm I'm not done with this yet, not much else to say but I hope you enjoy this! **

L's car skidded to a halt in the right apartment complex. He clutched the car's phone, punching in the numbers for the local police.

"I need an ambulance and police for the Hashigawa apartment complex on the east side of the Kanto area. And hurry!" He barked into the phone before quickly hanging it back on its hook. Not one to waste time, he grabbed the gun and stored it in its holster on his hip. His trademark white shirt concealed it as he bounded up the grimy staircase to the correct floor, skipping steps.

_11…12…13._

L counted before reaching the door. His eyes narrowed with determination, bracing against the guardrail to use his foot to pound the door down. It came down almost too easily, one kick and the corroded hinges crumbled. The door fell with a strident metallic thud. Daylight flooded into the diminutive space and what L saw made him freeze in absolute horror.

Light's naked body was completely covered in blood. Layers upon layers of it, some still oozing out of fresh wounds. It caked in his hair and droplets clung to his orifice. There were stab lesions that adorned the teen's mangled and abused body everywhere save his face. There was a perfect calligraphic 'B' imprinted on his hip. He hung from his wrist shackles, looking utterly limp and…lifeless. Light scarcely lifted his head, a weak smile on his lips at the sight of L's face.

"Y-you came…L…" he croaked almost imperceptibly.

"Oh my God, Light…" L breathed. His hands were trembling over Light's skin, not knowing where to start.

Before L could even lay a hand on Light, a contented voice sounded somewhere off in the darkness not touched by the luminosity.

"Admiring my handiwork? It took a while, yes, Light here was a very feisty one." L spun on his heel, facing the voice. He drew out his pistol, extending his arm out fully, and closed his eyes.

"Come out of the shadows and face me. Very slowly." He commanded, a sudden ghostly sense of calm fell over him, but the underlying threat still remained. Nothing stirred. L fired a random shot in the dark. Something shattered, but everything remained hushed by an eerie blanket of silence.

"Didn't you hear me? I said come out of the shadows and face me. Very. Slowly." L repeated, the sense of quietude still lingering. A figure slinked unhurriedly from the shadows, one foot entering the elliptical of light, then one denim-clad leg, followed by the rest of the body. B. His identical other half. The cold-blooded killer. L's eyes narrowed in abhorrence.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance all those years ago." The detective said through gritted teeth. B's expression was one of total nonchalance.

"Oh come now, Lawli, that's no way to greet your darling brother, now is it? You could call this a family re—"

"Stop it!" L shouted, his finger twitching over the gun's trigger. "Don't you _dare _call me your brother, you filthy murderer." B's look shifted from nonchalant to a mask of feign hurt.

"Ouch that stings. It really does, Lawli. I thought you had a bigger heart than that." He scolded, placing a hand over his chest. L didn't budge.

"Why?" L asked, genuine hurt coloring his tone with every word. "Why would you do this to me. Again?" A mordant smirk found its way to B's lips.

"You want to know why? I did it because I was bored." The detective's eyes widened in absolute disbelief. Because he was…_bored? _

"And," B continued matter-of-factly, reaching for the small recorder in his pocket, "for…an experiment if you will. There's something I thought that you might find of some interest." L's eyebrow went up but he remained stanch.

"What the hell are you—?" Before he could finish, B clicked a button and voices flooded the room.

"_I know you think that what you're doing is right, but in actuality, you're just a spoiled kid with an extreme god complex." _ It was B's taunting voice._ "You say that what you're doing is going to 'cleanse' the world, but it won't do anything. You're just an evil cold-blooded murderer, Light Yagami. Nothing more, and nothing less." _

"_You're wrong!" the teen snapped aggressively. _L could hear Light struggling, his handcuffs clanging together. His eyes grew wide in horror-stricken shock at the words that followed. _"Kira is justice! I protect the innocent and those who eschew wickedness! I will destroy this old world and create a newer and better one in its place! I will become the sovereign of a new world that everyone wants! Those who oppose me, they are truly corrupt!" _

B clicked the recording to an end, a satisfied smirk on his face. L's face contorted in rage, his body was quaking now, as he had to use both hands to steady the pistol.

"You sick, twisted bastard! You put him up to that didn't you?" B shook his head.

"Light said it, and meant every word of it. He's Kira, L. He practically told me himself. You knew he was going to kill you? You were just a hindrance. An obstacle that was getting in the way of his celestial plan to obliterate the world and construct a new one from the ashes. You thought he really loved and cared about you? Come on L, don't be so vain. That was all just a ploy. A great big stratagem to get your real name so he could write your name down in his Death Note and _kill you._"

Every word sliced through L's heart like a silver dagger. Sheer self-control kept him from collapsing to his knees. _No…it-it can't be true. It's not. Light…how-how could you? You used the whole task force, your own father, you used me? All for your own sick pleasure? You twisted my heart and my mind into believing that you were some…angel sent from God to protect me, to love me. I can't…I don't…NO!_

Suddenly, something in L snapped. The dam in him broke. His resolve, his willpower, everything in him was swept away in its raging current until one emotion remained: absolute hatred.

"No..." L whispered, clasping the gun tightly in his fist. He clenched his teeth. "NO!" L lunged at the murderer, closing in the four foot gap between the two in less than a second. B dodged the initial attack but L quickly countered, shooting his leg forwards to kick the man in the chest. This made B stop for a moment to breathe and L took the opening. He leapt crushing his knees into B's chest, sending the pair hurtling into the ground, L on top of B's torso. There was a sickening crack as they crashed to the floor. Yep, there went B's clavicle. But L couldn't care less. His hand clamped around B's throat and L pressed the gun's barrel between his mirror's eyes.

"You're wrong! Light is not that kind of a man! I'm not going to let your words warp my mind and my perception of him. You've screwed with my life as well as many other for far too long!" B's eyes narrowed.

"What are you going to do then? Kill your own brother in cold blood?" he choked out, struggling against the weight of the detective's knees. "That would make you just as bad as Light. Just as bad as Kira! Wallow in remorse when you have time for it!"

"_Shut up!_" L snarled, his fingers constricting around B's esophagus, hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "You're hopeless! I know you, I know what you're trying to do. In the very end you'd betray the entire world, the way it's betrayed you. Your very existence is a mistake. You need to be erased from the face of the earth! Tell me, B, what do _you _value most? _YOUR OWN WORTHLESS LIFE!" _

And without a hand of regret, L pulled the trigger.

**A/N: In regards about any question anyone might ask, Light is still very much alive! Just thought I'd clarify this fact ^_^ I just haven't really focused on him yet. During this chapter, it's mainly about L and Light is just kinda hanging there, fading in and out of consciousness. Not dead...yet! Haha joking joking….maybe *evil grin***


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